Discernment Counseling
in Loveland, Ohio
When One of You Is Ready to Leave — and the Other Isn't
One Foot In, One Foot Out
You didn't come here looking for Discernment Counseling. You may not have even known it existed. You came here because you're stuck between two unbearable options — the misery of staying in a marriage that isn't working, or the misery of a divorce you aren't sure you're ready for. You've been trying to make this decision in a bubble, carrying the weight of it alone, and somewhere along the way it started to feel like there was no good answer.
What you may not yet know is that there is a third option.
Discernment Counseling is a short-term, structured process designed specifically for couples where one partner is leaning out of the relationship and the other is leaning in. It is not couples therapy. It is not divorce planning. It is a chance to slow down the decision-making process, step out of the bubble, and gain the clarity and confidence you need to choose your next step with intention — whatever that turns out to be.
What is Discernment Counseling?
If you or your partner are considering divorce but aren’t completely sure that’s the right path, you are in a tough spot — and Discernment Counseling is designed for exactly that moment. It’s a chance to slow down, take a breath, and really look at your options.
Discernment Counseling helps couples where one person is leaning out of the relationship — not sure that regular couples therapy would help — and the other is leaning in, committed to rebuilding the marriage. The goal is not to solve your marital problems but to see if they are solvable. You will each be treated with compassion and respect no matter how you are feeling about your marriage at the moment. No bad guys. No good guys.
You will come in as a couple but the most important work happens in the one-to-one conversations with the counselor — because you are each starting from a very different place. In those individual conversations we look at what has actually happened in the relationship, the patterns and interaction cycles that have contributed to where you’ve landed, and what each person has brought to those dynamics. That understanding is valuable no matter which path you choose. It helps couples who decide to work on their marriage go into couples therapy with real clarity and commitment. And it gives each person insight that will be useful in future relationships — even if this one ends.
I am trained in Discernment Counseling through the Doherty Relationship Institute and work with couples in person at my Loveland, Ohio office and via secure telehealth throughout Ohio.
Quick Quiz: Is Discernment Counseling Right for You?
Discernment Counseling works for couples who meet the following criteria:
✓ You are a committed couple — meaning there has been a stated, publicly known expectation to stay together, whether through marriage, a long-term commitment, or having children together
✓ One of you is leaning in — strongly wants to save the relationship
✓ One of you is leaning out — considering separation or divorce but not fully certain, and hesitant about couples therapy
Discernment Counseling is not the right fit if:
✗ Both partners are leaning out of the relationship
✗ The leaning out partner is already fully on board with couples therapy
✗ One partner has already made a final, firm decision to divorce
✗ One partner is being pressured or coerced to participate
✗ There is a history of domestic violence or safety concerns in the relationship
*Still not sure whether Discernment Counseling or couples therapy is the right fit? Reach out and we can figure it out together.
Who is Discernment Counseling For?
Discernment Counseling is for couples where one partner is leaning out and the other is leaning in — and traditional couples therapy doesn’t feel like the right fit yet.
If you are the partner leaning in, you may be feeling anxious and afraid, watching your marriage slip away and not knowing how to stop it. You’ve likely suggested couples therapy and been met with resistance. You’re not ready to give up and you’re looking for one more real option. Discernment Counseling gives you a structured process and a therapist who will work with both of you — not just the partner who wants to stay.
If you are the partner leaning out, you have probably been carrying this for a long time. You’ve tried. You’ve hoped. And somewhere along the way the hope ran out. You’re not seeing anything that tells you things can really change, and the last thing you want is to sit through months of couples therapy you don’t believe in. Discernment Counseling is not asking you to recommit to your marriage. It’s asking you to take one session at a time (up to 5 sessions) to gain clarity about what you actually want — with a therapist who respects where you are and understands that you’ve been in this longer than most people know.
The 3 Paths
In Discernment Counseling we explore three possible paths together:
Path 1 — Postpone a Decision / Status Quo. Continue the relationship as it currently is without making changes or entering couples therapy at this time.
Path 2 — Separation or Divorce. Move toward ending the relationship with a deeper understanding of what happened, why it happened, and what each person contributed — so you can move forward with clarity rather than confusion.
Path 3 — Couples Counseling. A genuine, all-out effort with a minimum of six months of couples therapy, divorce completely off the table, and both partners committed to personal agendas for change — not just working on the relationship, but working on themselves to benefit this relationship or future relationships.
Most couples arrive at Discernment Counseling not knowing which path is right for them. That uncertainty is not a problem — it is exactly what this process is designed to help you work through.
Want to hear more about what Discernment Counseling looks like? Watch these short videos.
What Discernment Counseling Looks Like
Discernment Counseling is a maximum of five sessions. The first session is two hours and includes a short period of time together as a couple with the majority of the time being individual time with each partner separately. Sessions two through five are 90 minutes mostly individual time. Each session ends with a decision about whether to meet again — no one is locked into anything beyond one session at a time.
The most important work in Discernment Counseling happens in those individual conversations — because you are each starting from a very different place, and you each deserve space to be honest without your partner in the room.
Session 1: $375 (2 hours) | Sessions 2–5: $285 per session (90 minutes)
*If these fees feel out of reach, please reach out anyway. I don’t want finances to stand between you and this process.
Frequently Asked Questions About
Discernment Counseling
What is the difference between Discernment Counseling and couples therapy?
Couples therapy assumes both partners want to work on the relationship and is open-ended in length. Discernment Counseling is specifically designed for couples where one partner isn’t sure they want to try — and it is limited to a maximum of five sessions. The goal is not to improve the relationship but to decide whether improving it is something both partners want to pursue.
How do I know if we need Discernment Counseling or couples therapy?
If both partners are willing and motivated to work on the relationship, couples therapy is likely the right fit. If one partner is seriously considering divorce, feels hopeless about things changing, or is resistant to couples therapy, Discernment Counseling is the better starting point. Not sure? The screening call will help you figure that out.
How long does Discernment Counseling take?
Discernment Counseling is a maximum of five sessions. The first session is two hours. Sessions two through five are 90 minutes each. Most couples complete the process within one to two months depending on scheduling.
Do you take insurance for Discernment Counseling?
Journey to Wellness Counseling is a private pay practice and does not accept insurance. Session fees are $375 for the first session and $285 for sessions two through five.
What if I can’t afford the full session fee?
Journey to Wellness Counseling offers a limited number of reduced fee spots for clients experiencing financial hardship. If these fees feel out of reach, please reach out anyway. I don’t want finances to stand between you and this process.
Can we do Discernment Counseling online?
Yes. I offer secure telehealth sessions for couples throughout Ohio. In-person sessions are also available at my Loveland, Ohio office. The format — in person or Telehealth — does not affect the structure or effectiveness of the Discernment Counseling process.
What happens after Discernment Counseling ends?
At the end of the Discernment Counseling process, couples leave with clarity about which path they are choosing. Couples who choose Path 3 — the all-out effort for 6 months minimum — can transition into couples therapy, either with me or with another therapist. Couples who choose separation or divorce leave with a deeper understanding of what happened in the relationship and what each person contributed, which is valuable for healing and for future relationships. Couples who choose Path 1 — postponement of a decision — can work with the therapist to establish guidelines and agreements for how they will remain in status quo for a period of time, if that is something they are interested in exploring.
Is there a failure in Discernment Counseling if Path 2 is chosen?
No — choosing separation or divorce through the Discernment Counseling process is not a failure. Couples who choose Path 2 often find that having taken the time to understand what happened in the relationship, and to look honestly at each person's contribution to where things ended up, leads to a less contentious divorce. Many couples are able to move forward with less conflict, more clarity, and greater respect for one another. The work done in Discernment Counseling also gives each person valuable insight into their own patterns and contributions — insight that can be carried into future relationships for the better. I also provide resources and referrals to support you through the next steps of that process.
Is Discernment Counseling right for LGBTQ+ couples?
Yes — absolutely. Discernment Counseling is appropriate for all couples regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. The process, the three paths, and the individual and joint session structure apply equally to all couples navigating this difficult crossroads.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
Before scheduling a first session, a free 20-minute screening call with each partner separately is required. This is not a formality — it is an essential part of the Discernment Counseling process. Each partner deserves the chance to speak privately, ask questions, and make sure this is the right fit before we begin.
I offer in-person sessions at my Loveland, Ohio office and secure telehealth sessions for couples throughout Ohio. Morning, afternoon, and evening appointments are available.
If you’re the partner who reached out — it took courage to get here. If your partner sent you this link — I’m glad you’re reading it.
You don’t have to keep making this decision alone. If you’re wondering whether there’s still a path forward, you’re not alone in that. Reach out today and let’s figure out the next step together.